Luke 14:28 “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it” NKJV
What you want will determine how well you adapt to the relationship that you are in. Anything good is uphill and it comes at a cost. As we round up this series, let us look at the Shunamite woman’s family—2 Kings 4:8-37
When you critically look at this family you will see that they have adapted to each other’s strength and weakness.
She related in her ordained marital strength—intellectually and the husband related with her with understanding—great gentleness, tact and intellect
It is interesting to note that the Bible describes her as great but it is the husband that always goes to work.
There was no form of ego trip or vendetta on the part of the couple. They realized that their greatness is in their union. The marriage wasn’t a contest nor was it a completion. It was not, “Let us see who is better…”
You discover that competition is the bane of many marriages—husband and wife trying to outdo or “overdo” each other. If she is earning this, I have to earn more than her. If he is being celebrated, I have to outperform him.
This couple though not perfect, but they already became one. If she is called great then I am also great. If he is called great, I am also great.
Also, look at the fact that she was the one that spotted and intuitively noted the kind of person that passed by their home. She also suggested that they should organize a well-furnished choice place in the home for Elisha.
We never knew how long the discussion took but they eventually agreed. The suggestion was not shot down because it came from the wife. There has been instance where the husband makes a suggestion but because others that the wife listens to did not validate it, it was shot down.
It does not matter who makes the suggestion, if it is good it should be a go!
Look at this interesting thing and it is a note of caution for all women and wives because sometimes, it is what you know “how to eat” or the things that you like and are used to that often causes problem in a relationship.
After the family took care of Elisha, Elisha decided to reciprocate but you will expect Elisha to pray or make a proclamation but he decided to offer things which is typical of the male gender—he said let me connect you with government for contract
When our wives do what is good, you find many husbands responding with things—bracelet, necklace, shoes, watches, dresses, etc. Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying giving our wives things is not good but it should not be a substitute for filling her emotional tank.
In the beginning, many women yearn for things also and they get excited being given things but later on they discover that “blings” are no substitute for their emotions.
Due to the fact that the husbands are used to using things to “settle” their wives it has become a part of their lifestyle. The husbands go and work more or find a way to stock up on more things. The mindset of the husband is, If she is behaving somehow all I have to do is give her things. The day she now says, I don’t want things all hell break loose. The husband is at a loss because he has been used to using things to solve a problem now she has outgrown things because things are not the real “thing.”
The husband even retorts that is it not because of you that I am doing this or doing that and the wife says, all I want is you.
Is it that things are not needed in the home? No they are very much needed but it should not be a replacement for your person.
As wives do not be lured by the watches, dresses, etc. Make sure you go for what will make for an enjoyable marriage from the onset. If you settle for things always do not complain when you become a thing.
Husbands this is not a license for you to stop buying things though. All I am saying is that do not turn your wife to a thing. When your wife becomes a thing, it shows in the way you treat her. She becomes an object or a decoration.